- s t a y -


if only for the reason that tomorrow's sunset will be completely different than today's.


if only for the reason that if you go, who will water your plants and feed your pets?


if only for the gap that will be left in your family's christmas card if you go. 


if only for all the places you'll never have the chance to explore and all the friends you'll never get to meet.


if only for all the the memories that you'll never make.


if only for the laughs you'll never share.


if only for the future that awaits you, glimmering behind the clouds.


because it will get better.


because you are the only you that has ever been here.
that ever will be here.
you are important.

you are loved.


Dear Evan Hansen quote word art /  calligraphy

yesterday was national suicide prevention day, and as much as I wanted to get this up then, it didn't happen.
but the message that is spread on that day is one that we shouldn't blare only once a year.
this is important. you're important.

we need to remind people of their worth and their future every day, and not just on the day designated for it.

the Zulu people of Africa have a beautiful way of recognizing one another.
one person goes up to another, looks deep into that person's eyes, and says "sikhona" which translates to "I am here to be seen."
the response that is given is "sawubona" which means "I see you."

I see you.

how often do we really see someone, for who they really are, what they're really going through?
I fail to do so far more than I'd like to admit.

that woman on the street, hunched over in her ratty jacket while waiting for the bus to pick her up, is crying out
"sikhona! I am here to be seen!"
but we only see the lines in her forehead, the pasty makeup that swathes her cheeks, and the cigarette dangling between her fingers.

that man working at the grocery store. as he checks out your items, he asks how your day is going. you reply fine, and never see him again. maybe if you'd look a little harder, you see is silent plea
"sikhona! I am here to be seen!"
but we only see a pasted on smile and the bright color of his sales clerk uniform.

your friend at school, the one with the perfect grades, perfect hair, and perfect family. we don't see the sleepless nights she spends crying over the fact that her parents have ruined another family dinner by arguing, the hours she spends holed up studying because of the consequences her mom will give her if she gets less than perfect on that exam, or how every time she looks in the mirror she is revolted by what she sees.  she is drowning, drowning in the hammering waves of life, and barely has the strength to cry out
"sikhona! I am here to be seen!"
but we only see the girl most likely to be voted prom queen, and her cheery, perky smile every morning in class.

how hard is it for us to notice?
how hard is it to give them a place to rest?
how hard is it for us to reply


 let's keep the message of this day up year round. let's remind people of their worth and that they are here for a reason.
no one deserves to feel like they they're disappearing while they're still alive.

your words, your deeds, your smile.
they could be someone's lifeline.



(wow that post turned out longer than I intended, and is much deeper than my usual posts. 
but this is important ya'll. no one deserves to fade away.) 

Disappear - Dear Evan Hansen

what is your reason for staying?
how do you help people know that they are loved and seen?

live like this forever // summer '18 in review

oh my stars. august ends this week.
which means
(as I'm sure many of you are aware)

but although I am aware that many friends all over the blogosphere have already begun school, I don't begin until september 11, so

since it has been a while since I last did a monthly wrap-up, I thought I would turn my august wrap-up into a sort of summer review. 
(be prepared for alllllllll the pictures.)
(you have been warned.) 

//  JUNE //

// 1950's murder mystery party // all the fun costumes // sequined glasses // ponytails + red listick // giggling teenage girls // that feeling when your drink matches your, well, everything // 

// leadership camp // jumping into a lake fully clothed // a cabin full of the best girls ever // making all the friendship bracelets // listening to other people's life stories // you go nowhere by accident // spreading bark dust and yelling ridiculous this or that questions at each other // staring at the stars // campfires + s'mores // so many teenagers in love with Christ and life // worship so powerful every night is like a hurricane of God's grace and goodness //

// annual family camping trip // tubing from eight am until late afternoon // exploring a pioneer cabin // hiking up a mountain to be greeted with the most breathtaking view // reading nonstop // catching up with old friends // drawing wildflowers // late night conversations around a dying campfire // finding caterpillars all over the boat // boat picnics in the middle of a solitary portion of the lake // getting so cold in the water but it's worth it because of memories // 

// so many lazy mornings // not having to get up early to go to school // all the tea and banana toast //

// watching the sun softly descend behind the trees //

// amusement park days // running and hugging school friends like you haven't seen them in ages although it's only been three weeks since school got out // adrenaline rushes // cotton candy and giant bowls of ice cream // normally being among the more cautious members of the friend group but suddenly showing your daring side, because heck, rollercoasters are the best things on earth // glowing lights // that carnival music though // tired smiles and tired feet and full hearts //

// JULY //

// being a camp counselor for a week to the most precious second through fourth grade girls // sleeping in teepees // getting soaked, but not caring, because we are having so much fun // impromptu dance battles in a rainstorm // jumping off a diving board on a boat even though the water is freeeeezing to save your honor as a counselor // getting constantly confused with your co-counselor because apparently we look like identical twins? idk, we don't see it, but hey maybe it's the parent trap all over again // looking for monkeys in the rock caves // pedal boat rides // being perpetually damp because we were outside 24/7 // teaching these little ones how to make my special type of friendship bracelets, about the vindow viper and daredevil dan, and most importantly, Jesus' neverending, ginormous love for each and every one of them // 

// NEW ADVENTURES // reading a 400 page book on one plane ride // the little crackers they give you on plane rides // watching the goonies for the zillionth time // landing and being hit with warm, tender air that smells like coconuts and flowers and listening to a jungle of birds // welcome to paradise // IT'S MAUI TIME // 

// I think if I lived in hawaii, I could never grow tired of their sunsets //

// so many foods // so many lazy beach days // so many explorations // so many memories //

// hawaiian shave ice is the most amazing thing on this earth and nothing like a sno cone // fight me // 


// channeling my inner Moana // watching my grandma try to hula dance // trying poi, and finding that it tastes disgusting, just like every book I've ever read set in hawaii says // 

// snorkeling for hours // discovering a whole new world under the sea // there is nothing like it, and I strongly encourage everyone to do it before they die // I SWAM WITH TURTLES MY LIFE IS COMPLETE // and they were huge and solemn and dignified and majestic // totally in awe of all of God's marine creations // also lowkey never using a plastic straw again because now that I've been there I have to help SAVE THE TURTLES // 

// getting boxes of authentic thai food from a red food truck // taking it down to the ocean and eating it while the sun sets // the portal is closing and I must go, away across the sea and into the distant land of the sun // 

// so many cute little places like this on the side of the road // wanting to buy a coconut and mail it to my brother // mangos and pineapple and papayas, oh my! // 

// maui magic // 

// leaving behind a world you never knew existed // listening to jazz music in the airport // burgerville in pdx // having our flight delayed and getting home at one am // 

// floating the river that we live next to for the first time ever even though we've lived here for five years // seeing eagles, river turtles, wood ducks, and more // getting more tan from a three hour float then I did in all of my time in hawaii // I have the weirdest shorts tan line to prove it // 

// more river days // cliff jumping // paddle boarding, and getting pushed in // more campfires and singing and life talks with the tightest knit highschool (I mean, come on, we're twelve people) in the the whole world // 

// mission trip with my youth group // putting on vbs for these little tiny farming communities in a neighboring state // being on skits and getting to do what I love most to honor Jesus // so many little children with such sweet, eager hearts // being pelted with water balloons // getting those vbs songs and dance moves down // going to the pool and seeing some vbs kids there and loving on them // 

// getting so much closer with so many people in our youth group // hammocks for dayssss // late night heart to heart talks // discovering people who have gone through similar things as you and knowing that you're not alone // hitting up the thrift shops and stocking up on records // shave ice that's not as good as hawaii, but okay for being the pnw // lavender italian sodas // natural hot springs and GLOW STICKS // getting back to our host home only to discover that the power has gone out // and having a blast together anyways // our annual game of murder in the dark in the church // chilling in the church elevator and singing acapella harmonies // going out for chinese food and talking in british accents the entire time // the joy of the Lord is my strength // there is nothing better than living a whole hearted life for Jesus // so take the dive. it's all or nothing // 

// AUGUST // 

// working art shows and farmers markets for my family's business // food trucks // live music // reading in the park // recommending different teas for different moods // 

// lowkey do not like august that much because there are soooo many wildfires and smoke everywhere // not good for me and my other asthmatic family members // but it gives everything a lovely orange glow // 


// krispy kreme visits // all the chocolate for me please // haha guess who is going to have to go on a sugar detox this fall // 

// spontaneous picnics // fred meyers has fifty cent bubble wands y'all // bike rides and evening walks as the sun is going down // flower crowns // experimenting with my camera // taking life slow and easy and trying not to think about school //

it's hard to believe it's coming to a close so quickly! 
(also if you stuck with this entire post and all my rambles, you're a real one. <3 ) 
be on the lookout-I have some school related (I know, I know, just give it a chance) posts headed your way soon. 

how was your summer? 
are you excited for school, or not too pleased about it? 
what has Jesus been teaching you in this season? 


make them human.

take these, and make them human. 

I saw a man sitting on the side of the road. 
a mangy dog was curled up on a pile of 
rags and former splendor
at his side. 
the man's eyes  peered out of his thin face, 
all bones and lines, 
I gave him a sandwich and apologies,
and drove off,
not expecting the favor returned.
in my rearview mirror, i watched
him feed the dog the sandwich,
torn into pieces,
tenderly, like a mother with her young.
he gave me something back.
he gave me hope. 

take these, and make them human. 

I saw a woman, huddled by a bridge. 
her mascara ran down her painted face, 
mingled with doubt and regret. 
a woman?
no, a girl. 
a girl who should be too young to know such a harsh world.
a girl, who, like Atlas,
lifted a universe upon her shoulders. 
I now had neither sandwiches nor ignorance, 
but I gave her what I now had.
she clung to it like a lifeline,
carrying her to shore. 
she gave me gratitude, but I told her
to save it.
to pass it to another broken soul.

take these, and make them human. 

hey don't mind me, I'm just hiding from the fact that summer is almost over by writing poetry and eating all the ice cream.
also, check out this thing I made:
how have you been, really? 
tell me. let's chat. 



1. (latin) I create. 

how have you been keeping busy on these summer days?


LOOKING BACK // spring 2018

~ oregon coast trip, spring break 2018 ~

after looking through some old photos (like these), I decided to dig out my trusty old camera again. 
you can be expecting a whole lot more pictures coming your way soon. ;)

also HELP!
is anyone on here good with coding? 
I would love to customize this spot of the internet to make it truly my own, but any attempts I've had with coding and applying blogger templates have ended in disaster. 
I would love to give this site a facelift in time for its third blogaversary next month-we'll see if that happens. 


I completely revamped my about page and added a faq! so if you check those out, it would make my day.